Hot Blonde

Leave it to me, to jack up my hair right before I give birth.  I was trying to get ready, you know...shave (which I know is not the last time) , do my nails, touch up my hair, lotion my skin...hey, you never know when she is coming.  It's not that bad, just more blonde than I am used to and a little fried.
I put Serena down for a nap, got my highlighting kit ready.
I started to pull my hair through the cap...WTF!  It hurt like a mot$%$&%$%$%er.  Seriously.  I realized the pick thing that pulls the hair through the cap was all jacked, usually it is just a little bit hooked, but this one was not quality controlled...it was like a medieval torture device. Did I stop using it?  No, because I paid for it and I am 38 weeks pregnant and I am NOT going to waste time taking it back.  So I suffered through it, I was talking myself through it, almost crying, saying "pain for beauty Renee"...
Instead of it pulling my hair through in small, thin strands to make subtle highlights, it was pulling large knotted lumpy strands.  I should have stopped, I knew it was a poor course to choose.  So, now I  am pretty platinum...like a blonde beached whale.  Excuse the no make-up in the photo.
My cosmetologist mom would be so proud...lol.
Who's next?

SALLIE FORD & THE SOUND OUTSIDE: Party Kids

love this band

A good Laugh

We went to this super ghetto fair around the corner from us last weekend.  Serena was all talk about riding everything, but it took a lot of coaxing and bad parenting to get her to ride the dang rides we spend $15 on.  So there was this frog hop ride, and the guy said Alex could go on it with her, even though most of the others he couldn't.  So they get on, Serena reluctantly, and the thing starts going up.  Then about 8 feet up, it starts to" hop", basically it was abusive banging up and down in quick thrusts...Alex's nuts were already squished at the start and his face was concerned before it even started.  So there they are, Alex trying to suck his nuts in and Serena screaming crying and I am peeing my pants laughing, the carnie is laughing maniacally, as well as a few other bystanders.  The ride finally ended and Alex thanked the guy in a high pitched voice.  We told Serena she was brave and that daddy was crying too, so don't feel bad.  It was one of my favorite moments as a family.

Bad Breath

So, my awesome 2 year old daughter has decided to scream and cry in the morning when she smells my breath.  She's like "I DON'T LIKE THAT SMELL!!!!!"
We tell her it's not nice to say that.
I haven't chewed gum in like 2 months.
Tonight at dinner she says "Did you know, pregnant women need to chew gum so their breath doesn't smell bad".
Really???????
Thanks for the tip kid.

Valentine Craft (for Catholics)

Here is a link to a super cool craft I just did in  like 10 minutes.
http://catholicicing.com/2012/01/valentine-countdown-chain/

It's a really cute valentines countdown with bible verses.
Love easy crafts.
Hate my crappy phone picture.

Pampered Chef Success!

my new fluted pan

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Here are some pics I took tonight of my first Pampered Chef dinner!  I made a cake in less than 20 minutes...start to finish...in the microwave!  It was a butter pecan apple cake in my new fluted pan.  I also used my deep covered baker, to cook my own variation of enchiladas, with ground beef, canned tomatoes, spinach, mozarella cheese and sour cream...in less than 10 minutes...in the microwave! 
My friend Lindsay started her pampered chef consulting and I had an online party, it was so easy and I got some sweet stuff...literally. 
Here's the link to her page if you want to have a party!
http://new.pamperedchef.com/pws/lmatulia
Oh man...I am sooooo stuffed but it feels so good. 

The Name Game

I finally remembered to look up baby #2's name definition...the meaning of Cecilia.  My name means "rebirth" and Serena means "peaceful".  So Cecilia, being the name of the Saint I picked for confirmation, the Saint of Music...I thought it would have a cool meaning.
It means...
Blind or Sixth.
Yikes.  Have a jinxed this kid or what?  How can I make sense of this....please be born on the 6th...please be born on the 6th...
Blind.  How can I spin that one.  Let's just negate the "blind" definition, at least until she grows up and looks it up herself.  I know...I will pull a "Sleeping Beauty" and take all the computers in the land and burn them so she can never look it up.  I have read that book too many times.
So Cecilia could be born on the 6th, she ISN'T the 6th  child, although I could tell her she was and that the other 4 were boys so we sold them for labor. 
Oh well, not every name can have a super cool meaning.  She will be super cool on her own.
***
Speaking of the name game, Serena has mastered it...and her favorite name to use...you guessed it Chuck.

unrelated pic, me and some of my fav mommy friends

Figure it out.

My new theme song

I am pregnant!  Baby number 2 is due May 21st...Cecilia.
So, this song will be stuck in my head for the next...well...until I die probably.  I did it to myself.
But I have changed the lyrics slightly, to go along with my pregnancy...
It's now...
Cecilia, you're breaking my heart, you're giving me heartburn daily...
;)

DIY Gift #1

So broke.  Must....make....gifts...cheap.  I saw this tutorial on pinterest from a cute blog Nestled and thought it looked cute.  That is my awesome modeling picture.  Yeah.....   I might make some more for xmas gifts, it was really easy once I stared at the ribbon, washers and tutorial for like 30 minutes.  I hope to make some more gifts.  It's pretty tough being crafty, or copy-crafty.  I have the attention span of a tick right now.  Must...suck.....it....up....and....be....cheap.

Band of Horses: "Slow, Cruel Hands Of Time," Live on Soundcheck

Old Married Couple

I spend so much time with Serena, my 2 year old, that I often feel like an old married couple.
Tonight she said "mommy, snuggle with me in bed", then she proceeded to shower me with kisses and hugs and I was really into it...
then she said "O.K., get off now".

stupidity

My 2 year old got into the bag with all the Easter eggs and they still had jelly beans in them.  Since she is not allowed to eat jellybeans or anything with sugar, I started to panic and shove them in my mouth by the handful.  We were having a jelly bean eating race, And I was super concerned with having to deal with her after she ingested all of those jelly beans.  After eating 100 myself, I decided that a better idea would be to stop shoving them in my mouth, and put them in a bag in the cupboard.

Morality...Princess Style

I was thinking about all the princess books I read Serena and how the lessons can be pretty harsh...harsh but funny...in that, we tell our 2 year olds this shit.  Here is what I have learned and am teaching my daughter.

Cinderella: Clean your room, have many animal friends, be nice, and you will go to a party and meet a dude and he will find your shoe and marry you.

Ariel:  Get over your obsession with being someone you are not, or you will never talk again.  Just kidding, your daddy will fix it.

Brave:  Don't like the dudes your parents picked out?  Beat them up, put a spell on your mom and fight your dad with a sword.  Then you will end up alone and happy.

Tangled: Cut off your hair.

Belle: Read books and you will be smart, marry a hairy man...he is hot under that fur.

Tiana:  Save money your whole life and you will still need a miracle to make shit happen.

Snow White:  Are 7 little men better than 1big one?  Apparently.

Sleeping Beauty:  Touch something you are not supposed to and everyone will get a nice long nap.

Magazine Inspirations

I was just speaking to someone the other day about how as we age, our magazine subscriptions change.  In my teens it was Seventeen, Self, National Geographic...in my 20's it was People, Newsweek, Lucky...now that I am 30, I subscribe to Parents, Better Homes and Gardens...etc.
Better Homes and Gardens is just my speed right now.  Since we are new homeowners, I really enjoy the decorating tips, the gardening advice and of course, the recipes.
Are magazines becoming a lost art form?  I feel like I have always loved reading magazines.  I love books too, but sometimes you just want something light.  It's great to just chill with a magazine.  I love short blurbs of inspiration.  I just told Alex that I want to make one of our walls in the kitchen or dining room a magnetic/chalkboard wall...not for Serena, but for me.  I think it would be cool to put up recipes and articles up on the wall, to have a place to go for home inspiration.

sort of like this

...or like this...only better

The problem is, that I want it now.  Alex won't let me do any fun decorating until all of the non-fun stuff is done, like the A/C unit and flooring etc.

Anyway, the point of this post was to share some of the cool tips I read in this months BHG issue.

Here they are, I am spreading the wealth:

1.  Keep icebox cookie dough in your freezer to make homemade treats quickly. 

http://www.bhg.com/recipe/cookies/brown-sugar-icebox-cookies/?ordersrc=rdbhg1104736

2.  If painting something a bright color, use gray primer.

3.  To dress up place settings, use mini bouquets of branches from your yard tied with ribbon.

4.  You can make a shitty fitting sweater look good... if you're Heidi Klum

5.  Beauty tips: Use mascara on the inner lashes only to open up your eyes and make them rounder, use coconut oil on damaged hair: warm it, comb it into damp hair, after 15 minutes shampoo and condition it out.

6.  Idiot beauty tip:  For natural waves, curl your hair and use hairspray...no shit! LMAO.

7.  Grapes are freshest this month.  Store them in a covered container (I don't), but I will now.

8.  Eat chocolate, of course a women's magazine will tell you this.

Oblivious

So, I picked up this ABC book from the library, and I didn't realize what it was about.
We got home and I started to read it, and it took me like 4 pages to realize it was about being gay.
I was confused by the use of "moms" and "dads" as plural.
I looked over the cover again and started to laugh because I realized how obvious it was. 
Upon closer examination, I thought this might be pretty insulting.
I know I would be offended by the way they chose to depict these couples. 
It's pretty stereotypical in a bad way.
Check it out.

Potty bloopers

My 2 year old just ran into her bathroom and said "Give me some space!"
I said, "what?"
She said, "Give me some privacy."
Nice.

Nostalgia

Back home,
The street i grew up on.
Back with my daughter.
Sleeping in my great grandparents bed.
Pictures of generations.
Peace.

Summa Summa Summa Time!

My mom is constantly buying me groupons for photo books, most of the sites are a royal pain in the butt.  Finally she got me one for Shutterfly, which I had already been working on a summer photo book for Serena.  They have the easiest and coolest formats.  Hands down the best.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Shutterfly photo books are the new way to preserve your memories. Create your own today.

Mobile again

Awhile back, I had a great phone that I could upload to blogger. Then it broke, and I got a crappy phone.  Then my mommy bought me a new awesome phone. Now, not only can I upload pics from my phone, but I can also speak the text like right now.  Although, I seem to speak like a computer...com...pu...ter... So, I am up and running!  Look forward to annoying useless information.  Like this horrible picture of my morning coffee.

On Health

It's been a long time since I have had a really productive day, where I am fully aware and awake.  For awhile now, I have been thinking that I have a vitamin deficiency.  I can go about a half of a day feeling good, but there is always a time of any day, that I just want to crash.  I am sure if I saw a doctor or nutritionist, they would tell me about 100 things that I am doing wrong...coffee all morning, not enough water, too many sweets, not enough exercise.  I just want a quick fix,  I don't want to change my lifestyle...do I have to?  Ugh.
My best friend is a Holistic Heath Coach, ironic, yes.  She is amazing though, she helps people change their habits and become healthy.  What a lady.  Here is her website Daily Bliss Wellness, she does a free consultation too.  I love that she is taking this path in life, it has great benefits for me.  She gives free teleclasses, I just participated in one and I learned so much, not just about smoothies, but about my body and great things to put in it.  She has a blog and newsletter too.

secret fruit and veggies for kids

delicious smoothie

Anyway, I think we all KNOW what we are doing wrong, it's really about changing those bad habits.  I am going to start by implementing a smoothie in my day, for energy and replenishment...and I am going to try to make healthier choices.  I love that a free teleclass can inspire you.  I think we all just need a little inspiration now and then.  Thanks Christina!

Serena Ballerina

Tortured artist

my crazy potty trainer

Yesterday my 2 year old was coloring a picture.
  I was Skyping with my mom and grandma and my grandma said
 "color a picture for Gammy and send it to me so I can put it on my wall!".
So after we got off Skype, I ripped a page out of her Pooh Bear coloring book and then said
"let's color for Gammy!"
She took the red marker and slashed the page like a serial killer, then took the black marker and defiled Pooh's face until it was unrecognizable.
Then later I said "Let's put it into and envelope and mail it to Gammy!"
She then climbed onto the coffee table (she was naked from the waist down due to potty training) and she started to tear it up with her vagina, which she calls "gina".
 Alex and I were cracking up.
She was rip/crawl/humping it.
She is such a tortured artist... or she has no respect for art.

Evolution of a Nap

My 2 year old is killing me.
She is in her room right now screaming that she is stuck in her laundry.  Should I let her out?
*Intermission*
Ok I'm back.
Let's see...it's 3pm now, we started before 1pm.
She was in there trying to be a one-man band.  I heard her guitar and keyboard playing simultaneously.
She came out.
She had a poopy diaper.
I changed it and came back out.
Then she was singing happy birthday to each one of the Pooh characters.
She came out.
She had a poopy diaper.
I changed it and came back out.
Then all was quiet until about 30 minutes ago.  I then smelled the Desitin factory through the draft in the doorway.  This can't be good.
I go in.
She has literally taken a brand new tube of Desitin and smeared it all over her legs, hands, arms, pants, shirt, the carpet in various places, her library books and the door.
I am dumbfounded.
I strip her to her diaper and make her lay down in bed while I clean it up.
She is laughing at me.
I do my best to clean it up, the carpet is done for.
I leave again.
Now we are where this post began.  She screams that her fingers are stuck in the laundry.
I go in.
She is naked.  Her diaper is in the laundry basket.
I change her diaper and while I am, she says "sing me a song" I say "what about a song about a little girl who was very bad and pissed off her mommy and ruined the carpet and wouldn't take a nap and is in big trouble...what about that...does that sound like a good song?"
She says "yes".
She is laughing at me.
At this point I am writing this and ignoring her.  I took out all the creams, so the only thing she could be into in there is her wipes, that's easy to clean.  I hear her playing with toys.

...in happier times

I told her that she can stay in there all day.  Fine by me.
...to be continued...

True Summer

If this pic isn't the epitome of summer...

If You Like Hymns....

....or Pina Coladas.  :)
I recorded this just now for my CRHP sisters (we are learning it next Monday and I am going out of town tonight).  I posted it on my Catholic blog, but I thought I would share it on here too.  It's really bad.  I haven't played in awhile and I just learned it.  Feel free to rip me up.